by splff3000 Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:13 am
It Just Wasn't in the Cards(See what I did there?)Cal gets the shit beat out of them by a team with a fucking tree as a mascot.When coach splff3000 woke up this morning, he thought their might be a chance that at 2AM he could be getting the shit beat out of him. What he didn't know was,
HOW he was gonna be getting the shit beat out of him. He thought he might get drunk and some dudes beat the shit out of him in a bar at 2AM or he might get pulled over by the cops at 2AM and get the shit beat out of him because he's black or he might meet some sexy dominatrix bitch that wants to beat the shit out of him at 2AM. All those are reasonable and likely ways he could get the shit beat out of him at 2AM. None of those happened, but he still got the shit beat out of him. So how did he get the shit beat out of him, you ask? By fucking playing EA's NCAA fucking 11 football. That's how.
We caught up with coach splff3000 after the game for comment. He said, "Some shit is about to happen at Cal. This loss as well as a few struggles has led me to see I need to bring my SEC style to the PAC 10. I was trying to fit in with a wide open offense but fuck that. It aint working." When we asked how did his team lose so bad, he said it was because coach jhawk had some game genie codes and used them during the game. We can't verify if that is true or not, but we can tell by watching the game film that the cardinal players had some kind of boost for that game. Maybe it wasn't a game genie code but maybe they somehow connected an NES Advantage controller or NES Max controller and used that. Something definitely was boosting the Cardinal players.
Either way you look at it, coach splff got his ass beat at 2AM in the morning and it wasn't by some dudes at a bar or by the police or by some sexy dominatrix bitch. It was by a school with a fucking tree as it's mascot. Will Cal be able to recover from this? We'll find out when they play in their bowl game. Right now, it looks like they will be playing in the Maruchan Ramen Noodle Bowl. Hopefully by then, coach splff3000 will have recovered from getting his ass whipped at 2 AM.
Oh and just for reference for you young mfers:
and
Last edited by splff3000 on Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:37 am; edited 2 times in total