by splff3000 Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:08 am
Fuck this shit coach splff said. He did an article and his drunk ass accidently clicked on a different link to cause him to lose his whole fucking article. Arrghh he said in a loud crazed voice. He did all that work for nothing, but he knows no one really gives a shit that he lost his article. He knows that no one really gives a shit about anything until you bust they head in NCAA and make them quit or retire from the OD completely. Coach splff was upset about losing his article but did give a warning to the other coaches in the sec with him.
"I don't take no shit. I give it. You dirty fucking coaches aint shit to me. I will turn your teams into a bunch of sorry gay faggots. Since that is a double negative that means they will be straight, but they will still be sorry as fuck when I'm done. I am the alpha and the omega. The captain and the crunch. The oodle and the noodle. I am Freddy Krueger on the football field, but you ain't dreaming. I'm real. I aint scared of no man. I have big raccoon balls. That's why my avatar is what it is. The only thing missing is my 3rd ball that I keep for backup in case one of the others fail."
He also went on to name teams individually. "Fuck Arkansas. You aint bama. You will never beat the Tigers. You will never know what the Georgia dome looks like inside because you will never see the inside of that mothafucker. You will not even be allowed to buy tickets to my SEC championship game. You can practice all you want in preparation, but practice doesn't make perfect in this case. It makes for a waste of time if your practicing for me."
"Fuck South Carolina too. They aint never did shit to me, but fuck'em. They shouldn't even be in the SEC. They should be in the ACC or the Big East or some other sorry ass conference. They are consistently bringing my conference prestige rating down. Fuck them!!"
"And finally, double fuck Georgia!! I don't care how many recruits they get, or how many wins they get against sorry ass teams, or how many male prostitutes they fuck outside of the Piggly Wiggly in Athens, they can still lick my raccoon balls. My rabid raccoon balls to be exact. Coach Joker talks a lot of mess because he beat the B team, also known as Arkansas. Let's see what happens when he steps into the unfriendly confines of Jordan Hare."
Coach splff finally went on to add, " This has nothing to do with football, but my balls are so spectacular. They are in the perfect testicular shape. They are so spectacular that Fox is creating a new show specifically about their trials and tribulation. It will be called "Testicle Spectacle". Here is an image from the upcoming show:
Tune in at 830pm Tuesday on Fox. The first episode will be great.
Well, it's quite obvious that coach splff3000 is going crazy, but he does make some valid points. Coach Joker DOES have sex with male prostitutes in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot, coach Breon has really never done anything to him, coach Clark's Arkansas team really IS the B team, and coach splff3000 does have some really spectacular balls. Coach splff may not be so crazy after all.
Last edited by splff3000 on Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:18 am; edited 3 times in total