by urbanslegend05 Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:51 pm
Heisman Presentation
Chris Fowler: Hello and welcome to the 2011 Heisman and Rivals Award presentation. It's the culmination of the 2011 season, and before the 2012 season begins, we must find out who was the best of 2011.
Lee Corso: We already found out who the best team was and it turned out to be the Buckeyes. You like that don't you Kirk?
Kirk Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: We have a long list of candidates that had tremendous seasons, and the voting showed that these guys all deserved a shot.
Corso: All except perhaps Terrelle Pryor and Marcus Robinson.....whoa, they got stiffed in the voting.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: Excellent insight Kirk. We'll begin with the Rivals' Award for the best defensive player in the country. The voting was very tight among three deserving candidates.
Corso: I personally like what I saw out of Dre Kirkpatrick out of Alabama. I witnessed him play Florida twice, and though his stats weren't eye popping in those games, he helped the ole Crimson Tide win the ACC.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: And what about the player that Florida had?
Corso: Oh boy was Jalani Jenkins a tackle machine. This guy was like that tacklenator, sent back in time to destroy offenses.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: And then there's the sack machine from Texas?
Corso: Let me tell you some Kirk, this guy was fast, and I mean real fast....to the quarterback. 21 sacks, but none against Oklahoma and OSU, and that may hurt him.
Herbsteit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: Let's get to the voting. Here with the winner is Tom Peppernickle. He's the third-string fullback from the 1947 Harvard squad.
Peppernickle: It's an honor to be here. Hell, it's an honor to still be breathing at this age. I tell yah, I wouldn't want to get hit by any of these guys. And without further ado, the 2011 recepient of the Rivals' Award goes to.....Jelani Jenkins.
Fowler: Shocked Lee?
Corso: Maybe a little. These guys could have just been kissing the commissioners' ass to avoid a NCAA investigation, but Jenkins did deserve the award as well. Gotta give it up to the two runner-ups as well.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: And now on to the award everyone has been talking about. Lee, this year's race involved a couple of guys that were out of the championship run, but still put up massive numbers.
Corso: It's gotta start with Shane Vareen from the Golden Bears. 1,000 yards rushing, 1,000 yards receiving, heck I bet he could throw the ball if they let him.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: Well, I personally don't think Pryor deserved to win, Kirk, but that's a good opinion. And what do you think of Storm Johnson?
Corso: If he'd had the rock the whole year, I think he runs away with the award like he did other defenses. He was a backup until an injury thrust him into the spotlight, and he ran with it against WVU and VT to the tune of 433 yards and 4 TDs. Whoa.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: And what about the others?
Corso: Well, A.J. McCarron had a really big year, but his numbers against the Gators probably hurt him in the voting. Still, he was able to guide his team to victory. Andrew Luck is another that impressed, but he really only had one test against Splff and the Golden Bears. That could come back to bite him.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE!!!!
Fowler: No Kirk, I don't think Pryor will win, but let's go down to the field to famous Nascar driver Dick Trickle with the award presentation.
Trickle: I know a thing or two about going fast, and this year's winner does too. It's my great honor to present this year's Heisman Trophy to Shane Vareen from the University of California.
Fowler: Any comments Lee?
Corso: Deserving winner and wow did you see how close the voting was. He won by a single vote over Johnson from Miami. Both were clearly deserving.
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE????
Fowler: No Kirk, Pryor didn't win, but you know which team was the 2011 national champions?
Herbstreit: BUCKEYE, BUCKEYE, BUCKEYE!!!!!!!
Voting totals:
Heisman
Storm Johnson 3,3,3,2,2,2 (16)
Andrew Luck 2, 2,1,1,1 (7)
Shane Vereen 1, 3, 1,2,3,3,3,3 (19)
AJ McCarron 1, 2,3,2,1 (9)
Terrelle Pryor 1 (1)
Defense
Jelani Jenkins 3,2,2,2,1,3,2,1 (16)
Nico Johnson 2,1,2,1,1 (7)
Dravannti Johnson 1, 3,1,2,3,3 (13)
Dre Kirkpatrick 1, 3,3,3,2,2 (11)
Marcus Johnson (0)